Monday, October 20, 2008

New Angels

This has been a particulary rough month for rhabdo warriors. I continue to participate in an online rhabdo support group and within the last two weeks alone, we have 4 new angels: Danny Zabicki, age 17; Chloe Schmidt, age 7; Finn, age 3 and Elizabeth Doxey, age 8. Elizabeth was one who pulled on my heartstrings as I got to know her over the past year. It was so sad to learn she had earned her wings on Friday. Yet, she had been battling this horrific disease for 3 years, non-stop - so we are grateful she is no longer suffering and is now in comfort and peace. It is her mother and brother that I hope you will say a prayer for as well as the family members of Danny, Chloe and Finn.

Some days are very, very hard. Today is one of those days. Maybe we can all hug our children a little tighter; pray with a little more reverence; express gratitude with a little more sincerity; respond with a little more kindness; view our world, not just our homes, with a little more awareness; and love, love, love.

I am so grateful for Nick's remission, but I am fully aware of just how fragile remission really is. I know I watched a real miracle in his healing. From the very beginning, never once did any of us say, "Why, Nick?" or "Why, me?" but I do now wonder, "Why was Nick spared but not these sweet babies, who also had faith?" Some say this is "survivor guilt", but I'm not so sure. Nothing really feels normal anymore. I just look at Nick and think, "Wow, your purpose here on earth must be REALLY big." Then again, so is mine, and so is yours.

Just feeling a bit out of sorts trying to balance all the life and death going on every day. I'll hand it all over to Christ again and He'll help me stay in the spirit of gratitude and service and understand that unconditional love heals all.

Sheesh, see what happens when I give up diet coke and start training for the marathon in April (for Nick's Warriors).

Lori

1 comment:

Chris Ulvin said...

Dear Lori and all,
I'm composing this comment weeks after you posted a request for prayers for families of Danny, Chloe, Finn and Elizabeth. I said a prayer then and will say another prayer now. Amen.
In praise of our awesome God who makes all things new in heaven, love aunt Chris