Friday, December 10, 2010

STILL no word!

Regardless of my phone messages left throughout the week (and there were many!), along with short, consoling conversations with the staff at Huntsman and UMass, tears, cursing and full-on adult temper tantrums, we still don't have any definitive answers - even if the surgery is still on, let alone when. A very, very frustrating and long day. The surgeons have talked to each other, but not to us. Last call I got was from Dr. A's physician's assistant, Melissa, to let me know Dr. A had been in surgery all day, had two more to go then would call me later tonight. It's now 10:00 p.m. - doesn't look good. Dr. A is an oncology surgeon so I know he was a busy man saving lives today. But still...

Nick was to have met with Dr. A on Tuesday to see how the healing was coming along from his laproscopy procedure, but Dr. A was on call at the VA so we met with Melissa, and she is quite competent. Confirmed cancer is active and Nick is now getting fluid built up in his abdomen again. He isn't uncomfortable yet, but you can see the swelling and his tummy is still tender. Melissa set up an appointment to have his tummy drained again next Tuesday, which can be canceled should we need to go to UMass next week.

I'm crabby. So I baked all day long, watched "Elf" again for the 5th time this season and topped the night off going to a neighborhood Christmas party, which included a performance by a beautiful and brilliant pianist. Still crabby. But Nick isn't.

We'll be getting a Christmas tree tomorrow and that will definitely pick me up. Probably. Maybe not. We'll see.

With love, regardless of the self-pity, self-absorbed and selfish attitude I am projecting tonight. I'm sure the patients that were on the receiving end of Dr. Andtbacka's and Dr. Lambert's extraordinary surgical gifts are extremely grateful tonight and I am able to give a smile and a prayer for their complete recoveries.



Chris Ulvin said...

Hello Lori,
I have been anxiously awaiting the doctor's advice for Nick too! My daily devotional had the following thought: "In every challenge we face, God wills only good for each of us".
In prayer I'll patiently await God's advice for Nick as I believe it will be good.
Love, aunt Chris

Lorin Decker Buck said...


I can only imagine the tension you feel, waiting for these calls. Your post takes me back to those days when we waited for David's scan results. It was hard to distract myself from the "what-if-it's-bad-news-maybe-it-will-be-good-news-I-have-to-stop-thinking-about-it" torture.

I was upset to hear Nick's cancer is still active. I thought the "seeds" were dead and the surgery was to clean everything out. I guess I better go back and read your earlier posts!

Thinking of you and your family during this holiday season. I hope you get news soon.